Sunday, February 28, 2010

My Sister-In-Law's Hallucination

"Listen, Bill, when you were going through the storage out back, did you see my elf? What are you laughing at? You know what I’m talking about; I used to set it on the piano. No, 'she' doesn't play the piano, because he’s a boy elf, not a girl elf. He had dark skin, like somebody from Indonesia. Um, that's not right, more like an Oompa Loompa- the Gene Wilder ones, not the Johnny Depp ones. No, it wasn't alive; it was a decoration! And quit that annoying laughing! He played a harp. Come on, I'm not making this up! He wore red pants held up by bright red suspenders, a green shirt, had orange skin, played a harp, and stood about a foot and a half high. Also, he also had on a pointy red hat with a dangly white ball on top. Oh, and he had pointy ears too, not like Spock, more like Will Ferrell in Elf. Now, you know I wasn't dreaming or hallucinating. It was a pointy ear'd, Oompa-Loompa skinned, little boy elf. He played a gold harp wearing red pants, a green shirt, and red suspenders and stood 18 inches with a pointy hat topped off with a fluffy ball. Stop! No, 'the harp wasn't wearing the red pants and the green shirt,' Mr. Helpful, the elf was! Quit laughing! No, I don't need to see a psychiatrist, unless it's to cope with being around you! I swear, I don't know why I bothered to ask for your help. Mom, tell your pain-in-the-butt son-in-law that I had an elf!"


Corner of S. Church and Vine St. Thanks to Susan and Heather for helping arrange a great hiding spot, to my son Cody for providing me with some whimsical art, and especially to Julie, for being a good sport and giving everybody a good belly laugh!